My dear friend and I don't talk about that crazy day. We were asked by someone, "what changed in our relationship?" We simply stated, "forgiveness."
Recently, I received an apology necklace from my dear friend, Dr. Shawne Duperon. She sells the necklace as part of her non-profit, Project Forgive, and it represents strength and fresh beginnings and serves as a reminder to practice forgiveness. The necklace held more significance than she could have imagined, and I had to fight back the tears as it was placed in my hand. I received it one year after sitting in her session on leadership and forgiveness that impacted me in ways I could never imagine. I met Shawne in Chicago at a seminar 8 years ago. I suffer from a debilitating fear of speaking in public, ironic since I spend many weekends traveling the country speaking at seminars and conventions. Shawne took us outside our comfort zone with a series of exercises to help us overcome the fear of speaking in public. I made it 5 minutes and hid in a bathroom for the remainder of her session. Several months later, Dr. Foxworth sent me to a weekend boot camp with Shawne to address my fears. Luckily for both of us, Shawne enjoys a challenge, and I was definitely a challenge.
Last year, as luck would have it, Shawne and I were scheduled to attend the same convention. I couldn't wait to see her and attend her leadership session. I should have known that things are never quite what you expect when you attend a session with Shawne. The focus was on forgiveness. Past hurts, both personally and professionally, impact our leadership and decision-making. She walked us through an exercise to unearth a situation where we would like more peace and forgiveness. We had to write out the apology we wanted to hear and then read it aloud with a partner. My partner (a friend and co-worker) felt a little disconnected from this activity since it was specific to chiropractic, so we were just chatting about the weekend. When it came time to read our apologies to our partners, she looked at me and delivered the apology I never knew I needed.
Our relationship over the years has been filled with strife, to say the least. Personally, she is one of my favorite people in the world. Professionally, I wanted to strangle her almost daily. I wish I could pinpoint the source of our issues, but it really came down to communication and understanding. At that moment, when we were to read the apology we would never receive, she apologized to me. Instantly, I was sobbing and couldn't breathe. We quickly left the room (before Shawne asked us to share what had just taken place) and sat outside. We talked and listened to one another. Our relationship has never been better. Do we still disagree? Absolutely. We are human. That moment helped us to refocus our energy on common goals instead of focusing on what divided us.
My dear friend and I don't talk about that crazy day. We were asked by someone, "what changed in our relationship?" We simply stated, "forgiveness." I had no idea how many meetings Shawne would impact my life. I will always be grateful that she took me outside of my comfort zone and gave me the courage to speak. But more than that, I am forever indebted to her for teaching me the importance and power of forgiveness. I encourage you to be happy and forgive more. Forgiveness has enriched my life, and it can do the same for you.
Kristi Hudson is a certified professional compliance officer (CPCO). She serves as the Director of Business Relationships for ChiroHealthUSA where she has helped to educate DCs and CAs on establishing simple and compliant financial policies. You can contact Kristi at 888-719-9990 or [email protected], or you can visit the ChiroHealthUSA website at www.chirohealthusa.com.
