The Four Agreements
Kristi Hudson
"What we've got here is failure to communicate."
In the 1967 Paul Newman movie classic, that memorable line is used by Captain to justify beating the title character, Cool Hand Luke. Unfortunately, it is also the single biggest reason businesses lose their customer's interest and their employee's trust. Despite everyone's best efforts, communication breaks down, and everyone is left wondering what went wrong.
This very topic came up in a recent podcast. One of the guests stated that communication in his personal and professional lives significantly improved after reading the best-selling book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Four Agreements
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
A brief summary in the book explains this first agreement as speaking with integrity and avoiding gossip and self-criticism. To extend this to business, one must be ethical but also purposeful. In other words, say "yes" only if you can do something, which is more than underpromise and overdeliver.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
This agreement means others' words or actions are not because of me; instead, they are a projection of their reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
The adage of "if you assume, you make an ass out of you and me" has been with me since my youth. Don't jump to conclusions. You can clear up misunderstandings and avoid drama by dealing with issues directly instead of ghosting people or using other passive-aggressive tactics. You cannot know anyone else's story, and by asking questions, you avoid acting only on your interpretation.
4.Always Do Your Best.
Your best will change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy instead of sick. However, do your best under any circumstance, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
After reading the book, I have been more conscientious in using the four agreements. I quickly realized that I made a lot of assumptions in my relationships, both personally and professionally. I also learned that I took many things personally. This agreement alone has dramatically improved my perspective and outlook. Old habits die hard, and I will frequently make an assumption, take it personally, or start to commit to something I genuinely don't have time for on my calendar.
The good news is that it gets a little easier each day to stick to the four agreements, and as a result, life is a lot more fulfilling and happier. Whether you prefer audiobooks or holding an actual book in your hand,
I strongly recommend that you take time over the holidays to absorb The Four Agreements and take baby steps to implement them in your personal and professional lives.
Kristi Hudson is a certified professional compliance officer (CPCO). She serves as the Director of Business Relationships for ChiroHealthUSA where she has helped to educate DCs and CAs on establishing simple and compliant financial policies. You can contact Kristi at 888-719-9990 or [email protected], or you can visit the ChiroHealthUSA website at www.chirohealthusa.com.
